Joke of the Week

YOU MIGHT BE IN THE WRONG CHURCH IF...

You have to pass through a metal detector to get inside.

The scripture lesson is on "Jonah the Shepherd Boy and His Ark of Many Colors."

The choir performs "A Mighty Fortress is Our God" - as a polka!

They believe that an elected official attending the worship service is a violation of the separation of Church and state.

A week before Christmas the preacher announces the church will be "closed for the holidays."

Everyone agrees the temperature in the auditorium is absolutely perfect!

The song leader has you sing "Amazing Grace" in a round (a la "row row row your boat").

The church picnic will be held at KFC this year.

The sign out front says "Church-Lite: Home of the original ten minute Sermonette, and the 7.5 Percent Tithe."

Every illustration the preacher uses somehow refers to "those hilarious Budweiser frogs".

The missions budget just got cut in half, but the finance ministry deacon just bought a "kickin'" new Harley.

New "Purpose-Driven" mission statement includes vague reference to jello-wrestling.

New head greeters: Mike Tyson and WWF President Vince McMahon.

On your second Sunday as a visitor they ask you to be their preacher.

On the offering baskets is printed "Please make checks payable directly to the preacher."