Joke of the Week

RESUMANIA

"Resumania" is a term coined by Mr. Robert Half, founder of RHI Consulting's parent company, to describe the unintentional bloopers that often appear on job candidates' resumes, job applications and cover letters.

Here's some examples:

=> "I perform my job with effortless efficiency, effectiveness, efficacy, and expertise."
(And an eye on the "e" section of the dictionary, evidently.)

=> "Insufficient writing skills, thought processes have slowed down some. If I am not one of the best, I will look for another opportunity."
(No problem ...)

=> "I am very detail-oreinted."
(With the possible exception of spelling)

=> "I can play well with others."
(We'll be sure to tell your mommy.)

=> "Married, eight children. Prefer frequent travel."
(A new twist on work-family balance.)

=> "Objection: To utilize my skills in sales."
(Have you considered law school?)

=> "My salary requirement is $34 per year."
(They say money isn't everything.)

=> "Served as assistant sore manager."
(Ouch.)

=> "Work history: Bum. Abandoned belongings and led nomadic lifestyle."
(So you're willing to travel?)

=> "Previous experience: Self-employed - a fiasco."
(Definitely to the point.)

=> "Reason for leaving last job: Pushed aside so the vice president's girlfriend could steal my job."
(We're glad you're not bitter.)