Joke of the Week

MERGERS

The last few weeks have seen many mergers, and anticipating new ones could mean excellent Market gains. Here are some likely mergers to expect in the future...

Xerox and Wurlitzer -- They're going to make reproductive organs.

Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers New company will be called Fairwell Honeychild.

Polygram Records, Warner Brothers and Keebler New company will be called Poly-Warner-Cracker.

3M and Goodyear -- mmmGood

John Deere and Abitibi-Price -- Deere Abi

Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil -- Honey, I'm Home

Denison Mines, Alliance, and Metal Mining -- Mine, All Mine

3M, J.C. Penney, Metropolitan Opera Company -- 3 Penney Opera

Grey Poupon and Dockers Pants -- Poupon Pants

Knott's Berry Farm and National Organization of Women -- Knott NOW!

Zippo Manufacturing, Audi, Dofasco, Dakota Mining -- Zip Audi Do-Da

Netscape and Yahoo -- Net 'n' Yahoo