Joke of the Week

CHURCH MARQUEE SIGNS 3

"No God -- No Peace. Know God -- Know Peace."

An ad for a church has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads, "For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets."

"People are like tea bags -- you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are."

"God so loved the world that He did not send a committee."

"When down in the mouth, remember Jonah. He came out alright."

"Fight truth decay -- study the Bible daily."

"Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives"

"Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world."

"Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church."

"If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns."

"If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again."

"Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon."

"This is a ch_ _ ch. What is missing?" ---------> (U R)

"Forbidden fruit creates many jams."

"In the dark? Follow the Son."

"If you can't sleep, don't count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd."